Since I was little (age of 5), I felt like I was trapped in the wrong gender. I felt like my outward appearance and my sociology in my mind was completely male, but the most uncomfortable thing is in the inside of my body - because something wasn’t completely right at the time. It felt really uncomfortable and it affected my self-confidence around people, which was very disappointing for me because I know my confidence is out there but I found hard to show it to people.
I wanted to explain to my mom that I felt like I had identity issues because I kept feeling uncomfortable when people kept asking me if I’m a boy or a girl, and girls at school were telling me to go to the boys’ toilets because of dressing as a boy. I felt really angry and emotional. I wanted to see a specialist about it because it kept distressing me and my mom said, “you have to wait until your eighteen to discuss with a specialist.“ When I was at mainstream college I had a lot of bullying about my identity. People were laughing about how I dressed, which I found really annoying and emotional. I didn’t have very good support with issues with my identity.
I transferred to Queen Alexandra College in September 2013 and I came out properly as male at the college. I never expected support from everyone at the college. They did a lot of work with me to try and get a referral to a Sheffield Gender Clinic because in July 2013 the local GP forgot to write the paper work for the referral to the clinic. Two years later I started my hormone treatment. My mentor helped me to do a lot Trans awareness training to everyone in the college and in the work place.
My quote every day is that I always feel positive whenever I go out into the big wide world or go to my appointments, whether I’m feeling happy or sad inside and outside. I’m like a soldier who travels far away to end war but I’m fighting through the NHS to help break free from being stuck in the wrong gender for any longer.
I have recently been appointed to Stonewall’s Trans Advisory Group. It’s a diverse range of trans voices and experiences, with members representing a range of ethnic backgrounds, religions, experiences and trans identities.