I used to think our family was so unique. We’re a binational, bi-racial, same-sex family with a three year-old. Mama (my wife) celebrates the British Mother’s Day this weekend, and Mommy (me) celebrates the American one in May.
Our daughter is just starting to think about the things she’d like to thank us for (nice things to eat, letting her watch stuff, playing trains with her). When I get home she runs over to give me a ferocious hug. I enjoy my job but the best days of the week are ‘Mommy stay home days’.
It took us a long time to figure out how we wanted to start a family - we were a bit overwhelmed by all the options. After all, nothing was just going to happen accidentally. We looked long and hard for a donor with a bit of Japanese heritage when we conceived our daughter. I thought we were really on our own and didn’t have many people who had been through what we were going through. A bit unique.
It’s taken becoming a parent to realise that however we got here, whatever our situation, the thing that matters most is the love we have as a family. Changing a nappy for the tenth time in a day, waking up at 4am to start the day with a toddler, trying to comfort an ill child through the night is the same regardless of nationality, race or sexual orientation.
I still like to think of us as unique. But unique with a whole host of others who are just like us. Others who celebrate being two mums, mothers and fathers, two dads, adoptive parents, single parents or whatever else that makes them unique too.