Mother’s Day 2010: Lesbians are mummies too!

And what a historic year it’s been for lesbian mums. Recent law changes have come into effect since last Mother’s Day, meaning life for lesbian parents isn’t only much easier, it’s fairer too.

The first significant change that will make it easier for you to be a lesbian mum came into effect recently. It means that, if you’re not the birth mother, you’ll automatically be named as the joint parent on your child’s birth certificate if you’re civilly partnered, or conceived your child through a licensed fertility clinic. You’ll no longer have to adopt your child, which was the case before this groundbreaking law-change.

The second change ensures that lesbian couples can approach fertility clinics with confidence. The law now protects you on this because ‘the need for a father’ requirement has been re-phrased to ‘the need for supportive parenting.’ This means the fear of discrimination from fertility clinics needn’t hold you back if you want to become a lesbian mum.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the lesbian mums out there!

For all lesbians who are considering becoming mums, check out our helpful guide ‘Pregnant Pause: A guide for lesbians on how to get pregnant.’ 

For answers to any questions about being a lesbian mum, call our freephone info line 08000 50 20 20.

Also, keep an eye out for forthcoming research from Stonewall on the children of gay parents.

Lesbian mums

To coincide with Mother’s Day, we asked some lesbian mums to tell their stories…

  • Catherine, Manuela and Dylan


Photos of Catherine, Manuela and Dylan by Matt Pereira,

Catherine and Manuela are lesbian mummies to Dylan, who is nearly 5 months old. Catherine tells us about life as a lesbian mum…

Q - How did you become a lesbian mum?

We decided to opt for a sperm bank in Denmark that provided ample info about the donor. My wife, Manuela, had natural intrauterine insemination cycle at our local hospital. We planned for a home birth but ended up in hospital. Our son Dylan is four and a half months.


Q - Have you experienced discrimination as a lesbian mum?

We’re still at an early stage of motherhood so we haven't had much problem although we had to fight from the start of the birth process to get the same treatment as straight couple on the NHS.
The law has now changed but because my child was born before April 1, we’ll have to adopt my child to gain all the rights of a mother/parent! We've been told that the process is long and intrusive!


Catherine, Manuela and Dylan 

Q – What one thing would you do to make life better for same-sex parents and their children?

Same-sex lifestyles should be explained / included in the curriculum in the school from a young age. Same-sex parenting is as normal as straight parenting . Maybe, in some cases, even better ;-)


  • Kerry, Carmen and Mollie

Kerry and Carmen are proud lesbian mums to their daughter Mollie. Here, Kerry tells us about family life…


 Kerry, Carmen and Mollie 2  Kerry, Carmen and Mollie 1

Q - How did you become a lesbian mum?

Really wanted kids so when I finally settled with my wife, we went for it. Talked about using a known donor but eventually decided against it so went down the anonymous donor path. Found a clinic we both liked after a few we really didn't and it just flew from there. Carmen fell pregnant after first treatment and Mollie arrived nine months later.

Q - Have you experienced discrimination as a lesbian mum?

Only so far right at the beginning. One clinic was very exclusive in the real sense of the word and just clearly didn't really want us there.

Q - What one thing would you do to make life better for same-sex parents and their children?

Tricky one. I'm so ecstatic about being a parent! Guess we might feel the pain later when / if Mollie is bullied. Education for all our children is the key for me.

Inspirational! :)

Hi, me and my partner are starting our baby journey in June and it is lovely to hear stories of how you have already been successful in becoming same sex parents. My partner is goin to carry but with my egg, this way we can be as close as possible to the baby biologically. Worries such as bullying and even down to what names should our baby refer us to....mummy, mumma etc are constantly hanging over our heads. We are just hoping that once our own little bundle of joy is here, all these worries will be well worth it. Thank you for sharing your stories. We wish you all the very best for the future. Lucy and Lena

Lucy, 15 March 2010

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